opening up about anxiety. [part 3]

wow.  can you believe it's almost been a year?  i went for a check up with my doctor the other day.  to go over how the medicine has been working for me.  she really just is the best.  mostly, she gives me hope.  it got me thinking to where this journey has taken me, how i've overcome, and just how hard dealing with anxiety is.  so, here it goes...

i want to write this to you, yeah you, the one who might be struggling with something similar to me.  something deep down inside, that most people probably don't know about.  you hide it so well.  but i'm here to tell you to let it out.  i know, i know.  that's the hardest thing, the worst possible idea, over the top.  you don't want anyone to know.  but i want to tell you, my anxiety wasn't getting better by keeping it in.  it actually got harder the longer i held it inside.

i am an anxiety advocate.  i get you.  i know that most days you just want to curl up on your bed and cry.  that you'd rather not talk to anyone about it.  that every. single. thing. seems scary.  even the little things, like hanging out with your favorite people, or going to work, or just getting on facebook.  you're scared of the "trigger", and not knowing what exactly that trigger might be today.

you want it gone.  completely, totally, all the way gone.  but i also get that going to a therapist or trying a new medicine is scary.  you don't have the answers.  you might even wonder "why me?" sometimes.  the unknown is scary and it's just plain hard.  you beat yourself up because you always think how much harder others have it.  to just get over it.  but i promise you, what you're dealing with is real.

but i'm also here to tell you that there's hope.  don't believe me?  i'm living, walking evidence that there is hope.  hope for healing, hope for a solution, hope for a cure.  you probably feel like you need a little more hope in your life.  you wonder if you'll ever overcome this.  if it will ever go away.  i know i did.  but it can.  and it will.  i wish i could give you a timeline.  after this many months of struggling you're in the home stretch, almost there.  that's not the case.  but don't give up hope.  because there are people like me, who get you, who believe in you, who know you will overcome.

i'm also here to tell you that it's not just a "faith thing."  that if you have more faith, or pray more, or whatever that it'll go away.  it won't work like that.  maybe it'll help you feel a little better, but it won't take it away.  and you know what?  it's not because God isn't listening.  man, He's more interested in you now than ever before.  He's with you 100%.  through every tear, every panic attack, every awful, terrible moment He's there.  crying with you.  i can guarantee it.  because i felt Him with me.  and He promised me that i would be healed.  i didn't know when, or how, or if it would even be in this life.  but that beautiful promise is true for each of us, Christ heals every single one of us.

most important, you are not alone.  you are not forgotten.  your struggles are real.  and you will overcome.

“don't you quit. you keep walking, you keep trying, there is help and happiness ahead. some blessings come soon. some come late. some don't come until heaven. but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come. it will be alright in the end. trust God and believe in good things to come.”  

[jeffrey r. holland.  here. ]

[anxiety part 1.]
[anxiety part 2.]