opening up about anxiety. [part 2]

[this is what i wake up to every morning and go to bed to every night.]

a little over a month ago, i wrote this post opening up about my struggles with anxiety. first, i want to say thank you.  thank you for your kind words, your support, your prayers.  thank you for listening.  thank you for being a friend.
i have come a long way in the past month.  i've seen miracles, prayers answered, and i've felt "normal".  i've done things i haven't done in over a year.  i've felt excited about things i haven't been excited about in months.  i've enjoyed things that i couldn't remember the last time i enjoyed.
it has truly been miracles every day.
the other day i was feeling a little anxious and i couldn't place my finger on why.  derek told me "don't be discouraged, there will be days like this."  i quickly remembered some of the best advice i had received regarding my anxiety.  i was talking to a friend about it, who had struggled with similar things.  i told her one day towards the beginning of this that i was feeling a little discouraged because i wasn't seeing any progress.  that sometimes it was easy to wonder if it would just be like this forever.  if it would ever get better.
her response has stuck with me.  "ashley, you have to remember that you are still a person.  you will still feel discouraged, you will still have days that you worry.  you will still feel sad, alone and down. because that's what we do as humans.  we feel all these things.  we wouldn't have the good without the bad."
i think at the beginning i wanted a "fix-all", an easy way out.  i felt like i had done my time, learned my lessons, and i was just ready to move on with this already.
but i think more importantly i've learned to really be grateful to feel.  to feel all these things.  feeling anxious.  feeling upset, and mad, and discouraged.  because the days that i feel normal, or happy, or excited are days that i really notice.  these are days that i praise God.  i thank Him for walking with me every step of the way.  for He has truly been there through the darkest of days, and rejoices with me through the happy and bright.
i will forever be changed because of my struggles with anxiety.