sleep training: an update.

whew.
it's been one week since we started sleep training.  i know i told you about my totally awesome experience, but this has not been a walk in the park.  there have been tears, lots and lots of tears.  i have spent more time laying on the floor [pretending to be asleep] than i care to admit.  and there have been a few melt downs and wanting to give up [all me, i'll claim those]...good thing she's cute.

there were times we went for a car ride as a cop out because i couldn't take it any longer [and that always does the trick...plus, i'm not technically holding her, right?!]  and there were times i just rocked her.  but i really tried to be consistent and patient and stick with it.

after one week we have seen progress. [woot, woot!]  it's slow going, but hey, at least it's going!  for the first week i laid on the floor and put my hand in the crib for every nap.  today, we took the next step, i stopped putting my hand in and just laid on the floor next to the crib.  of course, the first time was rough.  but it's amazing how each time gets better.  she's learning!  tonight she fell asleep in ten minutes with hardly any crying with me just laying there on the floor.  it's seriously amazing.  most nights i still nurse her to sleep, and i'm still getting up with her in the night to feed her.  it's a slow process, but it's working.

mostly, i'm grateful for the support of others and for prayers i've seen answered.  and i'm grateful that i've stuck with it, even when it's hard, and feels like it's taking foreverrrrrrr.  it's a good reminder to me that most good things in life take time, and hard work.  [that's easy to forget in this instant gratification world.]

to all you moms who have done this before, you rock!  and to all you moms thinking about taking the plunge, you got this!  [and when you need a sanity break because you are losing your mind, let me know, i've got you!]

too cool for school.

outside emery is my favorite.

this every day life.

this girl is such a spaz.  

the many faces of emery.

the "mom squad."

we all moved to texas and became friends.

then we loving called ourselves the "mom squad."  

because these are all our babies.

and sometimes we do crazy things like go to the 9:30 showing of la la land.

[and realize we're getting too old for this!]

...so grateful for these friends. 

mini me.

from the baby cheeks to the drama streak.  

i think i've got a little mini me on my hands. 

that face.

we're kind of obsessed with her. 

[sorry for turning into those parents.]

four.

four.
it's always been my favorite number.
it's been four months since bringing her home.
i think it's been my favorite part of this mom life so far.
i finally am beginning to feel like "me" again.
[except for those darn pants...]
[oh, and that emotional hey day for an entire week.  sorry derek.]
i feel like i'm over the biggest part of the adjustment.  whew.
i love that she is getting so silly and fun.
i like that are days are starting to get into a routine.
i enjoy being able to leave the house without it feeling [completely] like an olympic event.
i love this four.

mommas and babies.

mommas and babies.  babies and mommas. 

seriously, all my lifelong dreams are coming true.

chasing around babies and craft projects.  

to all you other new moms,

to all you other new moms, 

the past couple weeks have been hard.  you agree?  the lack of sleep, being sick, a sick baby.  being worried and stressed.  multiple trips to the doctor.  wondering if everything is okay.  a cold, then a milk allergy, a growth spurt, and then another cold.  it's felt long.  and trying.  

on top of that are still my adjustments to mom life.  every outing has a max time of two hours. (between feedings, you know.) my to-do list never shrinks, it just gets longer.  i wonder how i'm supposed to get everything (or anything...) done.  not to mention i've made dinner maybe a handful of times since she's been born.  let's be honest, since before i got pregnant.  i'm just learning how to do things differently.  from grocery shopping to going to church, showering to getting the dishes done.  it all feels new.

this new life feels slow paced and fast paced, all at the same time.  the half hour it takes to get her to fall asleep feels like an eternity, but the thirty minutes she's sleeping feels like five seconds.  (hurry and eat, shower...you know the drill.)  she is still just a little baby, but the amount she's grown and learned in twelve short weeks amazes me.  

each day is learning and growing.  a new challenge.  being a mom is the hardest thing i've ever done in my life.  but it's also the most rewarding.  i wouldn't give up this time for anything.  (even if that means losing some sleep... and you know how serious i am about my sleep.)  

those big gummy smiles.  being amazed at watching her learn something new.  laying on the floor and playing.  sitting and holding her while she sleeps so peacefully.  realizing she looks just like you.  that almost giggle.  seeing that little personality come to life. 

sometimes the day in and day out monotony of this new life feels tiring.  sometimes i wonder if i'll ever have a day where i am not covered in spit up (and if my pants will fit again.)  but through it all, every up and down, i've never felt happier or more love.  every day i tell derek, "we prayed so hard for this."  

and although somedays it's sitting in the same chair for hours because you know as soon as you set her down she'll wake up, there is nothing else i'd rather be doing.  i love this mom job.  

you are doing a great job too!  keep up the good work.  

love, ashley