to all you other new moms,

to all you other new moms, 

the past couple weeks have been hard.  you agree?  the lack of sleep, being sick, a sick baby.  being worried and stressed.  multiple trips to the doctor.  wondering if everything is okay.  a cold, then a milk allergy, a growth spurt, and then another cold.  it's felt long.  and trying.  

on top of that are still my adjustments to mom life.  every outing has a max time of two hours. (between feedings, you know.) my to-do list never shrinks, it just gets longer.  i wonder how i'm supposed to get everything (or anything...) done.  not to mention i've made dinner maybe a handful of times since she's been born.  let's be honest, since before i got pregnant.  i'm just learning how to do things differently.  from grocery shopping to going to church, showering to getting the dishes done.  it all feels new.

this new life feels slow paced and fast paced, all at the same time.  the half hour it takes to get her to fall asleep feels like an eternity, but the thirty minutes she's sleeping feels like five seconds.  (hurry and eat, shower...you know the drill.)  she is still just a little baby, but the amount she's grown and learned in twelve short weeks amazes me.  

each day is learning and growing.  a new challenge.  being a mom is the hardest thing i've ever done in my life.  but it's also the most rewarding.  i wouldn't give up this time for anything.  (even if that means losing some sleep... and you know how serious i am about my sleep.)  

those big gummy smiles.  being amazed at watching her learn something new.  laying on the floor and playing.  sitting and holding her while she sleeps so peacefully.  realizing she looks just like you.  that almost giggle.  seeing that little personality come to life. 

sometimes the day in and day out monotony of this new life feels tiring.  sometimes i wonder if i'll ever have a day where i am not covered in spit up (and if my pants will fit again.)  but through it all, every up and down, i've never felt happier or more love.  every day i tell derek, "we prayed so hard for this."  

and although somedays it's sitting in the same chair for hours because you know as soon as you set her down she'll wake up, there is nothing else i'd rather be doing.  i love this mom job.  

you are doing a great job too!  keep up the good work.  

love, ashley