on finding out you're pregnant [when you really aren't "expecting" it.]

okay, i don't know if you can say that you're not really "expecting" to get pregnant, when you spend every week at the fertility doctor doing all sorts of crazy things.  but after so many "no's" you really don't expect anything to work.

once again, tmi story.  you're welcome. 

two weeks after a procedure [we did "iui"] you go in to have your blood drawn so they can test if you really are pregnant.  the day before my blood draw i was sure i started my period.  i called the doctor's office and explained that i was spotting so we should just cancel the blood draw and start the next round of procedures.  then the nurse [has the nerve] to say, "well, you know, spotting can be a sign of early pregnancy."  at any other time i probably would have been like 'yeah, yeah...thanks for the advice... but... i've had this a million times before.'  actually, that is what i was saying, but more angrily, in my head.  DON'T GET MY HOPES UP, LADY.

well, i really hate the blood draw part of the process.  like, it's actually the worst part.  since i was out running errands anyways, my stubborn self decided to stop and buy a pregnancy test to "prove" this lady that it was my period, just how it'd been every other month of my life.

turns out, she was right.

i sat there staring for a good ten minutes.  never had i seen a positive line.  i held it up, turned it every which way, made sure it wasn't just the lights glinting off it in some way.  i walked away and came back.  it was pure shock.  i took another one the next morning.  more wide-eyed staring.  i, of course, had my blood work done.  positive.  i couldn't believe it.  i think i was so shocked i didn't even cry.  [and i cry about everything.]

next step...try keeping a huge secret like this from your family for a few weeks.  i'm a terrible secret keeper.