the hilarity of fertility appointments.

[viewer discretion advised. tmi. and stuff.]

fertility appointments aren't always funny. in reality they are scary and stressful and exciting and awkward.  pretty much every emotion. here are my "tmi" stories that keep me laughing through the seriousness of it all. if you keep reading, you've been warned.

story 1.
the nurses at the office are just the best. let's just throw that out there.  but even if they are the best, it doesn't mean you love having full length conversations without pants on. after a good five minutes she says, "sis, i guess you can put your pants on and meet me in the hall." yeah, thanks.

story 2.
with fertility treatments, comes medicine and giving yourself shots. [insert: scary!] your shot comes in the mail and then you have to give it to yourself at the time the doctor tells you. i got home from work and was supposed to give myself the shot an hour later.  the problem: no package.  i called the doctor, i called fedex. basically, i was freaking out.  finally, fifteen minutes before my scheduled shot time the doorbell rings and the packages arrived. i ripped it apart, got it all ready and jabbed myself.  so much adrenaline i couldn't even think about how scared i was.  i work really well under pressure.

story 3.
after having a treatment done they have you lay on the table for about fifteen minutes, and they invert the table a little... anti-gravity.  as i'm laying there, bum in the air, good old jon mayer comes on over the radio. "gravity, stay the hell away from me."  probably the best soundtrack of my life moment ever.

story 4.
getting your blood drawn.  it's really just dementors that come to take away your soul.  and it's fine if you act like a 5 year old and ask for a juice box every time.

...and the best part is being able to tell our kids one day that we weren't even in the same room when they were conceived.  [just keeping ourselves laughing, people.]

[original infertility post here.]