it's the load.

hurt.
sometimes it's overwhelming.
filled with frustration, anger, sadness.
your world falling to pieces.
bitterness.
other times it's pushed to the back of your mind.
nearly funny because it's almost unreal.
upset.
it feels like a weight.
tears running down your cheeks.
somedays it just hurts.

[one of those laying in bed thoughts.]

today i needed this talk more than i knew possible.
it is the load.  it is the atonement.  it is hope for a brighter day.  it is all the hurt being healed.
i realized that through my hurting, there is a better way to carry my load.
i don't have to carry my load alone, and yet still, the load is exactly what i need.